Turkey Onboard
by Oni Giri Slash
Summary: Zoro finds a turkey on deck and has Luffy set upon it...will it survive? Read and find out! !R&R!


**A/N: This is a recount of what happened to me and my sister yesterday in One Piece format though!!! I mean, what is the likelihood of a turkey walking across your front yard?? Just clucking to itself...I chased it all the way around the neighbourhood, until it flew (more like flapped really hard!!) into the river. Can turkeys swim?? Anyway...ENJOY!!  
**

**Zoro calls the turkey a 'vulture'... !!lol!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece...I didn't own the turkey either but that didn't stop me from trying to get it!!!LOL!**

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The Vulture Hunt

Zoro leaned against the mast and yawned.

"Gobble, gobble."

The swordsman raised an eye. _What the…_He watched as a live turkey strutted across the deck. He looked around the ship. No Luffy? Normally where there was live meat, there was usually a Luffy not too far behind – but not today. Zoro watched the turkey as it stopped and turned its beady eyes at him. What was wrong with this bird? Didn't it know it was in mortal danger being aboard this ship? Apparently not, as it cautiously picked it's way closer to Zoro.

"Hey, vulture," snapped the first mate, "if you want to live, go fly away."

"Gobble?"

"I'm going to call Luffy in a sec, so get going." He picked himself off the deck and walked into the kitchen, where Luffy was being tortured by the horrible duo, Nami and Sanji. _Poor kid. _He turned back to the turkey, still gobbling its way along the deck.

"Oi, Luffy."

Nami and Sanji didn't stop their daily captain pounding for anyone – not even for the first mate. Zoro continued as if someone was really listening to him.

"I don't know if you really care Luffy, but there's a wild vulture cramping the deck…"

The silence that issued was a record for the Straw-hat pirates. Luffy raised his bruised head, his eyes bulged slightly. "Meat?"

Sanji let go of the battered captain and looked out of the door. Sure enough, a turkey strolled its merry way across the deck. He looked at Zoro. "I'll give you full complements Marimo, for knowing it was a bird, but," he doused his cigarette. "It's a _turkey_."

Luffy leaped forward, knocking Nami out of his way as he charged out on deck. "MEAT!"

Sanji grabbed two butcher knives and chased after him. "LUFFY! TURKEYS HAVE TO BE HANDLED DELICATELY!"

Nami huffed away, disgusted.

Zoro leaned against the door with a lop-sided grin on his face. _This is going to be good._

…

The turkey turned in time to see a pair of hands shoot out to snatch him. In fright, it spread its wings and scurried away, leaving Luffy to zoom through the empty space and crash on the opposite side. Sanji bolted past him, raising his butcher knife. The turkey's eyes grew wideand it hurriedly jumped to one side, narrowly avoiding the sharp edge as it sank into the planks.

"Damn it," hissed Sanji. He pulled out his knife and ploughed headlong into the captain. "Uh!!" The two were sent rocketing into the railings.

Zoro grinned; this was the most amusing thing he had seen in his lifetime. Now all that was needed were more clowns. As if on cue, Usopp appeared coming down from behind the tangerines.

"Oi, Sanji, Luffy, what are you two doing?"

"TURKEY HUNTING!" They both shouted, de-tangling themselves. The captain and chef swirled around.

"Where's the meat?" Said Luffy, racing around the deck. "Where'd it go?"

The marksman spotted it perched on top of the mast. "THERE IT IS!"

Luffy gave a warrior's cry, threw a rubber arm around the mast and frantically began climbing. Usopp and Sanji waited impatiently below shouting advice to their deaf captain.

**…**

Zoro watched as Luffy lunged for the turkey. He was close, his fists grabbed a few feathers but the vulture was already flapping awkwardly away. PING! The vulture faltered and dropped to the ground with a loud squawk. It got up quickly and started running around the deck as Usopp loaded his sling again. PING! It missed – the turkey was gobbling furiously and Zoro just couldn't get enough. He almost burst into laughter when Luffy hit the deck, his eyes crazy, and his mouth in a wild grin.

"MEEEAAAT!"

…

Usopp dived for the turkey, grazing his nose along the wooden planks. He watched as a butcher knife landed beside his cheek, sinking deep into the deck. He sweated. Luffy drummed his chest as he charged towards the still-alive meat, screaming. He knocked Sanji into Usopp and the two went spinning away.

Sanji spat out his dying cigarette. "Luffy's just scaring the bloody thing."

Usopp groaned from beneath him. "You'd think he would use a safe, logical way to catch the turkey."

The chef raised a curly eyebrow. "You think?"

Usopp groaned. "No."

Sanji got himself up, watching Luffy run circles around the mast after the turkey. "Just how did a turkey get onto the ship anyway? We're miles from land."

Usopp sat up and shrugged. "Beats me," he paused. "But it would make a nice meal for tonight."

Sanji picked up his butcher knives and Usopp loaded his sling…

…

BANG! POUND! AUDIBLE SWEARING! CRASH!

Nami looked up at the ceiling and prayed that some good lord would stop them before she did. Apparently, there was no good lord as Nami pieced her clima tact together and headed for the deck. She passed Zoro at the doorway who had the biggest grin on his face – it needed wiping off, but she was going to save the energy for a particular rubber captain.

…

_Here comes the witch. _Zoro's grinned widened as a fuming Nami stomped outside. She beganyelling something abusive at Sanji, Usopp and Luffy. The poor vulture was getting knives, slingshots and rubber fists in all directions…pretty soon it was electric bolts and hail as Nami joined in. Oh Zoro could not get enough, he was in stitches. It was the funniest thing he had ever seen. It made living on the ship of hell all worth while just to watch the captain, navigator, marksman and the captain chase after a vulture – each of them pulling the most hilarious stunts ever seen.

Zoro looked down as small hooves tugged at his shorts. Chopper looked up at him. "Zoro, what are they doing?"

He shrugged. "Luffy's after the vulture…"

"Turkey," corrected Chopper.

He ignored the doctor. "Sanji's after it too along with Usopp and Nami…"

"WHAT!? THAT'S HORRIBLE!" Squeaked the small reindeer.

"Yeah," smirked the swordsman, "want to watch with me…?"

Chopper ran onto the deck in an attempt to save the poor creature. The first mate watched the circus act for another two hours before he fell asleep.

**…**

Zoro snorted as Sanji kicked him out of the doorway, he raised his eyelids to notice it was dark and everyone was trudging back inside. "So," he asked casually. "Did you get the vulture?"

Sanji dumped his two bloodied butcher knives onto the kitchen bench. "No," he snapped.

The swordsman looked at the knives. "Then what's with the blood?"

Luffy came past sucking his arm, he replied dully. "That's mine."

A charred Usopp slumped into the nearest chair. "Brave Usopp, nearly caught the fiend…"

"You did not," hissed Nami. "You were no where near it."

"I was too. You zapped me with thunder before I could get to it."

Chopper was rubbing his eyes furiously. "It…sniff…never had a…chance…!"

"Where is it?" Asked Zoro, curious on how the charade ended.

"Luffy, the complete dim-wit," began Sanji. "Chased the bird until it had no more feathers. It jumped onto the railings…"

"And committed suicide," finished Nami.

"What! You mean…it jumped into the water?"

"You bet Marimo. Sank faster than Luffy."

Luffy had his head on the counter. "FOOD! FOOD! FOOOOOD!" He bawled, getting louder with every word.

…

Zoro got up, walked out on the deck, and stopped in horror. The deck! The deck was…was…there was no other word to describe it…it was a battleground. Black vulture feathers were everywhere, the wooden planks were scorched from lighting and fire and god-knows what else Nami was using…most likely nuclear weapons. There were deep grooves in the deck from Sanji's butcher knives and small sling shots scattered in places. There were deep fist dents on the wood and reindeer hooves scratching the decks paint work. Not to mention the spots of blood here and there…Zoro walked carefully amongst the devastation. He leaned over the railing and stared into the starry water.

"I told you vulture," said Zoro quietly, "to fly away if you wanted to live."

"Gobble?"

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******Continue reading and get an insight of the newest One-Piece story by Oni Giri Slash.**

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******From the author who brought you the comedy hits, _Santa-Sanji Claus_ and _Zolo's Blocked Toilet Pipe_ comes the new One Piece saga: _'In the beginning'_**

_"This voyage," she said, leaning over the table and tracing her finger along the map. "Is the most dangerous in the world…are you ready for the journey?"_

_Luffy grinned. "You bet!"_

"_Are you ready to pay the price?"_

_Nami frowned. "What is the price?"_

"_The price in a world which values nothing is…your life."_

_Usopp almost fainted._

When the Straw-Hats stumbled upon an unusual character with incredible sword skill, they never thought they were taking in the most dangerous pirate in the world. A pirate who at the age of ten sunk an entire island somewhere within the Grand Line. The pirate, Thalassa (Lass) Marja, becomes the guide to finding the crew's dreams. With her knowledge of thedangerous and unmapped Ruin Line a place where human life is condemned to meet its death, the Straw-Hats one-by-one, face peril, danger and their dreams. However, are their dreams important in a world that holds no value? Is she a threat to the existence of the Straw-Hat crew? What is she hiding that is putting our favourite crew in peril? And what is One Piece?

The Ruin Line holds the answer to every question, with five transcendental islands and one that is supposed to not exist, the crew has to know what they value most.

In a world with no value…

In a place where all is possible…

With a guide who preaches insanity…

You surely must be in the Ruin Line.

_"Congratulations, you have made it this far…but do not think death is so easy."_

******Coming to FanFiction near you.**

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******A/N: Well I hope you like my idea for a One Piece story!! Review if you liked the idea!! Hope you liked the turkey story!!LOL! Based on a true story...**

******!!!Luffy says to: REVIEW!!!**


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